wasabiwasabi blog

“Do one thing and do it well”

SD web startups don’t seem to follow this mantra well

Wondering (again) if i should just bite the bullet and move to the silicon valley… 2 months left on my lease, now would be the time to go

i have been lamenting the fact that i don’t have team members (engineers) to work with at my job right now (i really REALLY miss having team members), and as the only person who really works on the website, who pretty much built most of the website, i feel like i’m an island ALL THE TIME. anyways, i think one naturally gravitates to finding a solution to the problem elsewhere, and lately that’s been mostly outside of work. :)

when i was at veoh, i loved going into work (minus the stressful episodes) because everyday was a chance to brainstorm/collaborate/come up with crazy ideas for start-ups over lunch (on napkins), over skype, etc. and since we were always at work, it was fun (ok, weekends not as fun, but still…) because there was always someone around to work with and to talk to… someone who shared your passions and skills. now that i work at a company where that’s not the case, i’ve been feeling pretty glum and depressed, but i’ve found that the balance has shifted and i collaborate more outside of work instead. for example, over a simple dinner, while discussing life, my friend and i come up with this crazy idea for an event that we want to throw – code named FT1 – and every time i think back to that moment, it makes me smile or chuckle (probably also causes the people around me raise an eyebrow). friends also contribute sticky notes to project stickies, which i LOVE… and tonight… tonight was the creation of IMPROV COMICS (see facebook) hahaha

this post probably makes no sense and is totally random, but i guess i just wanted to remind myself that i can adjust and focus collaborative energies on things outside of work – if i can’t do it at work, then i just wait until the work day is over! it makes me look all-the-more-forward to the end of the work day, when i can go hang out with like-minded people and come up with crazy ideas and laugh about them together… and possibly bring some to fruition as well! :)

how do you know if what you’re doing or the decisions you’re making are what you’re meant to be doing? how do you know if it’s what God wants you to do? i don’t feel like i’ve ever been sure if what i’ve chosen to do or am doing is what i’m actually supposed to be doing in His eyes. right now, even if i pray about it, i still don’t know for sure. i feel so lost and so torn. all i know clearly are the things i’ve always dreamt of doing, of becoming, of what i thought i was supposed to do with my life, but is it the right thing if it means giving up so much else? something that i feel like i’ve spent a lifetime trying to find and only just found it? and is this turmoil brought on by me wanting to seek my own glory by always striving to learn more, to be better at what i do, to be ambitious? or am i meant to serve in this way? if a big potential opportunity you’ve dreamed about falls into your lap, could it be a sign? I DON’T KNOW.
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