the discoveries/happenings of last weekend [if they are indeed true, and i think they are] have been bothering me a lot this week and adding to the weight on my shoulders and the exhaustion i feel. it makes me feel like being antisocial and being withdrawn. i feel like the wicked witch of the east with a house smashing her literally. how did i end up with the entire burden of this house on me? the whole situation has me pretty mad… that the root of the cause hasn’t been made apparent and it’s all lain on me instead. looking back on everything i did for this house and am doing, and how much i pay monetarily (and half the stuff we use communally is from my place that i brought over at no cost to anyone) plus how much time i spend commuting to work and the cost of gas… this really wasn’t any sort of deal for me. maybe i’m just feeling bitter, but i didn’t save on anything by moving here. if anything, it’s cost me more than money… now i’ve got a group of people who have “shunned me” in a sense, people who were previously mutual friends… meanwhile my community of friends (whom i’m extremely grateful for) are still loving and caring towards the person who’s the problem. and they should be… they should be caring and encourage this person to mature and grow up. so seriously, who should pull the Christian card on whom? it makes me so mad. i hate it when people are so self-absorbed and inconsiderate… all they care about is themselves and they fail to see the bigger picture. when confronted they don’t apologize and act like they’re the victim. gah. so many should’ves, so many regrets (and i hate regretting) but i really should’ve stopped this long before it began and just said no.
how do you stop the cycle of self-absorption? how do you get someone to see the bigger picture? are we at an age where it’s too late?
You kept trying and trying but it stayed the same. If something isn’t gonna change, you can’t force it. It’s probably easier to just let go.