When I was packing up my sketchbooks and stuff, I came across one of those photo strips that you get from the photo booths you often find at a fair. It was a photo strip of T and I. As soon as it fell out, I immediately felt so incredibly sad and lonely. I would upload the photo strip because it’s actually a really great series of pictures of us, but then I might have another case of girlfriend-of-ex-boyfriend stalking and harassing me again so I won’t. I really don’t need another email essay from a girl I don’t know about how he never cared about me, etc. I really did love that boy, but man, did he break my heart and hurt me. I don’t think it’ll ever really mend, even if I’d like to believe that it has by now. How I felt seeing that photo strip is proof enough.
I think I have a clear picture of what I’m really looking for in my (hopefully) future better half now, but I feel like I’m both too scarred and too scared to ever really find him at the right time/place, and there are plenty of girls out there looking for the same qualities I’m looking for. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I visualize it like a Korean drama. Me on a platform, some vague resemblance of a man with the build of T on a subway that shuts its doors right as I get to the platform and speeds off so we miss each other. Then he finds another girl and it doesn’t end the way Korean dramas end – the opportunity has passed forever and never circles back around. Dramatic, eh? :P
Anyways, back to life. I still need to jot down my goals for this year, but can’t seem to bring myself to sit down long enough to write them. Time to procrastinate further and read the last book of the Hunger Games trilogy. :)
(Yikes, I really should be packing)